Mental Rape
The following piece was written by Stephen Crosby and I thought it was so important for Christians to read, reflect, and recognize what speaking the truth in love is all about…
Some relational advice I gave to someone today, regarding the so-called "speaking the truth in love" which for too many means: blasting someone with our self-perceived biblical insights:
When a man takes from a woman by force, that for which she does not give her consent, it is called rape. When I try to enter (without their consent) another person's mental, psychological, and theological space and try to force them to see the error of their ways because of the superiority of what I think is in my point of view, I am committing the spiritual and emotional equivalent of rape. A lot of so-called "evangelism" is just mental rape.
Our job one-on-one with people is to love well, earn the right to be trusted and listened to by incarnating the life, love, power and truth that is in [Jesus]. Violating others with our knowledge is not speaking the truth in love.
If someone is not inviting me into the sacred space of their mind and soul, I do not get to "break in" by kicking down the doors of their heart, forcing my way in, and force-feeding them my "revelations."
Jesus used parables and stories to convict people. He dignified people by allowing them their own time to process the implications and associations of the parable. He was not a "truth-rapist." So many of us are. We think because the Bible says this and that, we must ram it into people as evangelism. Like: "I am just telling them God's truth. It is not my problem if they can't handle it." (I've heard that more times than I care to count).
He never "rammed truth" down someone's throat because "they needed to hear it." He only got confrontational with those who professed to have sight and were living in hypocrisy, as well as those who were their leaders (the religious hierarchy).
His overwhelmingly preferred method of "bringing the truth" was to speak in various kinds of parables that allowed people to connect the dots, or not, for themselves.
Jesus was content to "not close the deal" to use common, (and offensive) Christian-ese evangelism terminology that I have heard in numerous "evangelism training" seminars about [sic] "leading people to a decision."